The Final Stages of Kitty Toilet Training and Other Recent Happenings

Yes, I realize I have not written in about 2 months. We changed over to the final green stage a month or so ago and there we stayed for awhile. I was also super busy with work. The great cosmos decided that everyone at my store should get sick, one after the other. This resulted in us all taking extra days and me putting in a 60 hour week. Seriously no bueno. However, we got through it and are getting geared up for summer and the cruise season which starts on May 20th. Oh, how much fun THAT will be.... Nothing better than cruisers who, although still interacting with normal day-to-day lifers when they come ashore, seem to think that being on vacation is a perfect time to forget all human decency and intelligence -- on second thought, maybe it has to do with being on a cruise ship for weeks on end. In any case, it can strain even the cheeriest of customer service folk. 8999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999994 (and that was Dumbledore's contribution. Thanks buddy.)

Oh and let's not forget that everyone and their aunt is losing their minds lately. Wtf is going on?! I know there was a full moon and everything, but that can't account for ALL of it. There's a bench on the sidewalk outside our bakery that now has some bad juju attached to it. 3 events within a couple days of each other convinced me of this.

Event 1: Senor Douchebag riding down the sidewalk on a bike without a helmet crashes into a 6 year old girl and falls over smashing his right eye on the corner of the bench which then falls over. He then falls and starts bleeding from the eye all over the sidewalk as the parking cop comes to investigate. At the same time, I'm dealing with Senora Crazy inside who takes at least 20 minutes to decide what she wants to buy, and insists on vocalizing every thought flying through her ridiculous brain. After she pays and heads out the door (of course making some retarded comment to Senor Douchebag bleeding on the ground), I follow and ask the cop what happened. The cops come to take statements, shortly followed by the ambulance. They take Senor Douchebag away on a stretcher.

Event 2: 30 mins after Event 1, Senor I-Think-I'm-Black-And-Badass-And-Have-Nasty-Dreads (AKA Senor ITIBAB for short), sits on the same bench and proceeds to harass passers-by for cigarettes. When they ignore him or tell him they don't have any, he becomes enraged and tells them to go "have a fucking beer" and other such nonsense. Knowing I'm the only one to shoo him away before harassing more customers, I ready myself and head out to converse with Senor ITIBAB.

Me: "Sir, I'm sorry, but I can't have you sitting here and harassing passers-by for cigarettes."
Sr. ITIBAB: "Wh-what? How did you know I was doing that?"
Me: "I was right in there making a coffee and watching you."
Sr. ITIBAB: "Well you need to mind your own fucking business!"
Me: "Oh really? Well see, this here IS my business, and you're sitting on MY bench, so I need to ask you to leave now."

Sr. ITIBAB gets up and in my face yelling something ridiculous and rather un-noteworthy. Since my nerves were a bit frazzled at this point and I was pissed that he wasn't just getting up at leaving and that he had already cussed at me, I told him to "fuck off". He then proceeded to tell me to "fuck off" at which point I replied that this was my business......again. He didn't seem to understand this. In the middle of this insane confrontation, some fabulous regulars came to my defense and the owner of the restaurant nearby stood in between us protecting me. The guy finally left stating that "my business was stupid".... If I hadn't been so rattled or pissed I would have laughed. Oh and why was I rattled, you ask? Because, honestly, I'm terrified of confrontations and the universe decided to help me get over that fear apparently.

Event 3: I was not present for this event but was told about it. A flat-bed truck was backing up to park in front of the bakery and backed right into that poor bench tearing it apart at the hinges.... I actually feel bad for it. Hopefully we will be getting a couple new benches in the near future.

Ok, now back to the Kitty Toilet Training Saga:

Merlin is bothered by even minute changes so it takes awhile to convert them to the next stage as I can only go as fast as he allows me to. He cries and wanders around, looks at the new contraption on his toiletting spot and cries some more. When the poor boy gets desperate as we are all wont to be when we have to pee so badly, his default spot is the soon-to-be-discarded kitty bed/couch when he sees no other place to go and which he has taken advantage of on almost every stage.....sigh.

Here are some pictures of the green stage!

At this point they are successfully peeing and pooing directly into the water and I no longer have to scoop anything! Hooray! After a week or so, I let the litter in the shelf run out -- Merlin's favorite game was to bat the litter into the water and try to catch it before it fell... as a result, the litter ran out real quick! I thought this would bother him, but it surprisingly did not. He still scratched at the green tray but would continue to do his business as usual -- a positive sign.

As I type this he is having a hissy fit -- literally. I recently removed the green tray and was pleasantly surprised to see Dumbledore hop right up and do his business after meowing a bit about the difference. He had a little issue with balance since the toilet seat is more narrow, but he's bigger than Merlin so I was expecting him to have a harder time. After him, I thought Merlin would follow suit, but apparently I was wrong. He's wandering around and crying. On Tuesday he chose to pee in the bathtub instead of the toilet so I relented and put the green tray back up. Today I'm standing my ground. I'm determined to coax him or trick him (whichever works) into using the toilet. He can be stubborn for sure, but I'm soooo much more so. Muahahahaha!

In the mean time, here are some pictures of Dumbledore doing the deed without anything but the toilet seat. Woohoo!

This was after the pee and before the poo. He seems to be asking me if he really has to poo without support of the tray. "Bitch, seriously?!"

And of course as I was typing this, being distracted, my darling little Merlin decided to go in the bathtub yet again. Am very frustrated, but will persevere. I have a feeling he won't poo in the bathtub, so there will be another chance. I'm really not sure why he's having such an issue with this stage.

And, of course as I wrote that..... he pooed the the tub.... ugh. Seriously?! So I just put the litter kwitter toilet seat WITHOUT the green tray on the toilet. Maybe taking a smaller step is the way to go. We shall see. I'm signing off for now feeling frustrated, slightly defeated and stubborn. >:-(

Toilet Training Cats 201

Apologies for not having written this update a week ago, however, I wanted to make sure I actually had something to write about. And I do! Hurray!

We have successfully switched to the next stage of the Litter Kwitter Toilet Training Program -- the amber stage. At this point the tray now has the hole in the middle.

I went into this stage very apprehensive and prepared to have to coax Dumbledore with food or trick him into going into the hole -- especially since the last time was a disaster. I was wrong. As soon as I had the new tray up there, Dumbledore sauntered into the bathroom and jumped onto the tray, avoiding the hole like a pro, scratched a couple times and then squatted and did his business, right into the water. I stood there mouth hanging open in astonishment -- are you freakin' kidding me?! Dumbledore?! The sound of urine tinkling into toilet water was music to my ears! In fact, I was so excited, I almost peed my pants. Ok, no not really. I'm just kidding. But I was very excited. After all, this was Dumbledore The Priss. 

As it turns out, my dear beloved girlfriend was right (and will never let me live it down) about having to wait another week or two. Turns out DD just needed a little more time to get used to the tray in general. 

I would have written about this amazing success right away, but I always want to wait for what I term the "4 Successes" -- two poos and two pees (one of each from each cat...). At this point I was only one down and three to go. Later in that evening, my lady came over and as I was brushing my teeth (of course), I turn my head and see this:

With a mouth full of toothpaste I exclaim "Get my phone! Get my phone!" only to hear "I got it, I got it!" She was already on it, crouched down and getting a direct shot, like an experienced photojournalist documenting the rarest of all cheetah kills or something. 

2 successes down and two to go. We still hadn't seen anything from Merlin, which I found strange since I had seen him go when I tried this stage earlier (see previous post). It took a little while, but we eventually heard some scratching and popped our heads into the bathroom to see Merlin squatting. There was no glorious tinkling sound, though, and it turns out he was still doing his business into the tray and not the water. Not ideal, but at least it's in the right area and not on the cat bed... or my bed... or the sink. 

It's been a week now and though there are some poos that land in the tray, about 80-90% of all the waste goes into the hole. Merlin is getting better and more used to getting it all into the hole. He seemed to be uncomfortable about it for a few days. I was away all night and all day today and upon returning home was very pleased to see that only one poo was in the tray, and there was a LOT in the bowl.

Other good news is that I have left the drain in the sink open several times on accident and have seen no evidence of pee in the sink --hooray! Though I'm still a bit doubtful so I try to keep it full of water for them as a pee deterrent and a watering hole. 

The only unfortunate part of this stage is the amount of litter mess it creates in the bowl itself (it sticks to sides of the bowl) and on the floor around the toilet. One of the reasons behind my motivation to do this was to avoid stepping in litter. It seriously grosses me out to feel the grains in the bottom of my feet, or worse, to find them in bed.... EWW! I'm becoming a little OCD about cleaning the floor in my bathroom to avoid this unpleasantness and am so looking forward to the day when I am truly litter-free!

I will wait a couple more weeks before I decide to move on. Once they are going into the bowl all the time, I will switch to the green stage. I will try to do a better job of updating you all. However, I think this is going fabulously! I already have several people in line to inherit the Litter Kwitter when I'm finished. 

'Til next time, Happy Poos!

Epiphany

Oh god. I'm a crazy cat lady. I really, really am.

As I was scooping the litter tray 10 minutes ago I suddenly became aware of my thought process. I noticed that I actually knew whose poo turds and pee clumps belonged to whom and was taking notes in my head about the differences.

I actually came home to no turds in the tray which is HIGHLY unusual..... So I cleaned it. 

Naturally. 

Then I fed them.

Then the little feline dams burst and I was forced to clean it all up at once and was led to this startling self-realization 

This toilet training thing has gotten me so focused on my cats toiletting behavior. It's kinda weirding me out.

But I will succeed. 

Oh yes. I will succeed!

PS-- For those of you really jonesing for an update, I have hit a bit of a plateau in the training.

I tried to move on last week to the amber stage,  but dear little Dumbledore wasn't a fan of the new situation. He kept forgetting there was a hole and would stick his foot through it and into the water. Then it was wet and got litter stuck all over it. Very unpleasant -- I don't blame him for not wanting to use it.

He didn't go pee or poo for 24 hours. Even though Merlin was successful in the pee department (peed straight into the water -- no need to say THAT was the loveliest sound EVER!), I needed to move back a step and stay on the red for another week.

(Sorry for the dark picture. I swear Merlin is actually peeing in the water though..... And DD is watching, but apparently not learning.)

That extra week has been concluded, however, since it's Valentine's weekend there is a lot going on and I don't think I'll be able to devote enough time to staying home and monitoring their potty habits. I will move on soon though and will keep everyone updated. t

Toilet Training Cats 101

Yes, ladies and gents, you read that correctly. I have had quite enough of the whole litter box scenario. It's gross, unsanitary, and one of my biggest pet peeves is stepping in litter with bare feet. Soooo no bueno.

Here are the students: Dumbledore on the left and Merlin on the right:

As a result of having young, impressionable kittens and a seriously small living space myself, I thought toilet training my boys would not only make a cool party trick, but also save the mess, hassle, germs, and tons of money in the long run. Plus, I'm not an idiot. My cats obey me when I'm here, but I know for a fact they climb on the counters when I'm not around. Proof? Steel wool and sponges found in the living and bed rooms..... If they're walking on the counters after taking a big fat poo, who knows where ELSE they're walking and how many poo particles are in other places. In a word, gross.

So, while I was purchasing a ginormous cat post at petco one day, I saw this kit called the "Litter Kwitter" (I know, such clever spelling), and was oh-so tempted to buy it. However, the girlfriend seemed doubtful that it would actually work and said I would be wasting $50.

Fast-forward several weeks later and I was still thinking about it. Figuring that if it didn't work I'd be $50 down, which is not fun, OR if it worked I'd be saving at least $25/month in litter and countless inhalations of kitty poo fumes and litter grains stuck between my toes. Fucking FABULOUS!

So, on my next day off I marched over to Petco to get this nifty little kit and not only were there a lot there (last time it was before Christmas and there was only one left), but this time, it was on sale for $39.95! Hot damn. It was my lucky day.

It is a 3 step program that gradually weans them off litter while introducing them to going in the toilet. It guarantees they'll be trained in 8 weeks or less.

It comes with a toilet seat rim that can fit over any conventional toilet (Japanese style squatters not included), and three trays. The first is red and is a pan into which you pour about 5 cups of litter (no hole). The instructional DVD that is included tells you to get them used to the whole thing on the ground near the toilet. I don't have much floor space in my bathroom and their litter box was already in the bathtub since Dumbledore has a thing for peeing in drains. So I just switched it out.

This was quite a messy stage since there's not a whole lot keeping the litter in that pan and they love to spray litter all over the place when they bury the waste. However, being contained in the tub, it wasn't so bad. And yes, I cleaned/swept up before using the shower myself. So now was a waiting game to see if they would adjust to this part.

Well I didn't have to wait long. That's one good thing about all this. Animals, like us, have to pee and poo a few times a day, so as long as you're home and paying attention, you can catch them and correct any behavior very quickly. Merlin (pictured above) is very laid back and adapts easily to change. Dumbledore, on the other hand, has different ideas about going to the bathroom. He's a little more prissy and needs his area to be clean. If I've been lazy or if he's not comfortable with the arrangement, he'll default to any drain. Most recently, it was the sink... ugh. He got the right idea, however, after I caught him squatting in the sink the second time and plopped him in the litter. Honestly, I think he hates litter as much as I do, which is why I believe he'll love being toilet trained as much as I will.

Next step was to move the toilet shaped litter pan to the toilet itself:

This was the part I was worried about. That big of a change could prompt Dumbledore to start going in the tub again. The question was how to keep him from defaulting to a drain. After watching him go to the tub and try to drink residual shower water (all cats do this in case you didn't know), I had an idea. I plugged the drains so that if he DID pee in the tub, the pee would stay there and not go down the drain, which is the effect I think he likes best. I did the same with the sink. Then, to discourage him even more from using it as a toilet, I let a little water run so there was a puddle by the drain. He loved it! I was a brand new watering hole! Both of them have been drinking from it. I repeated it with the sink, but the plug doesn't fit tight enough to keep the puddle. I then decided to take a plastic jar/tub/thing (take-out thai food container to be exact) and put them over the drains just to create that extra barrier.

As a result, I had switched the roles of the toilet and tub. They loved drinking from the toilet and doing their business in the litter box in the tub. I essentially created the same thing, but reversed.

Merlin, as suspected, had absolutely no problem at all and as soon as he had to pee, jumped up and went.

Woohoo! Go Merlin!  Unfortunately, Dumbledore was going to need a bit more coaxing, so I made a trip down to Mud Bay to grab what is hopefully my last bag of litter and some food. While there, I spotted something that I knew would help my cause and be healthy for the little buggers as well.

Dried Bonito flakes!! For those of you not in the know, these are cured and dried fish shavings. Strangely enough, Japanese LOVE to top their food (especially okonomiyaki) with these. They move with the steam and heat waves coming off the food, which gives them the appearance of being alive. Along with being totally creepy, they taste disgusting. I could never get into them. But whatever, the cats LOVE them! Anyhoo, I thought it was particularly amusing that in the States they sell them solely as cat treats -- never as actual people food. Though I'm sure you could find them at Uwajimaya and H-Mart in the snack sections.

I worked with Dumbledore last night: placing him on the litter seat and giving him bonito flakes while telling him what a good boy he was and generally schmoozing him into feeling comfortable up there. (I'm an excellent schmoozer. I work in retail. It's my job.) He never went last night -- I think he was holding out. However, I knew something would happen in the morning. AND IT DID!!

Ta da!!! Go DD! And what nice form he has too :-). I was such a proud mama this morning. I made sure he got extra ear scratches and treats. I left for an hour to get breakfast and when I returned realized that one of them had pooed in the tray! This is important, folks. Peeing is the easy part. Pooing is the more anxiety inducing part. I know this from experience. When having to use the Japanese squatter toilets for the first time squatting to pee was easy -- I'd done it in nature quite a few times. But pooing was another matter all together -- no one wants to clean that shit up, literally. In fact, our "first squatting experience" was a popular topic of conversation among the gaijin that first week we were there.

Anyway, I figured the mystery poo was Merlin since he seems to do everything first. 5 minutes later, the suspicion was confirmed.

Another victory for DD! Fan-fucking-tastic! Step 1.5 accomplished! Now all I have to do is wait a week or so (they recommend 2 weeks at each stage and it's already been one) and then switch to the orange ring below:

At that point they will learn how to go into the water itself but still have the security of the litter in the ring around there. Luckily, most of the time the waste lands in the center part of the red ring anyway so it seems like it'll be a common sense transition. We shall see.

To be continued....

Customer Etiquette 101

It has come to my attention in the past 3 years of working in 3 different bakeries (2 in Seattle and one in Durham, NC) that while we get extensive training to BECOME a barista and tips on providing outstanding customer service, those of you who haven't had the opportunity to work in the customer service industry are in DIRE need of a class on how to be an outstanding customer -- or even a decent one at that!

Well, today is your lucky day. For I have compiled a list of helpful hints that will help you become your favorite retailer's favorite customer! And, what's more, I'm offering you this advice free of charge! That's right, ladies and gents, this is invaluable information that can result in a multitude of benefits for you, your retailer, and eventually, help promote world peace -- a lofty claim, yes, but one I believe to be true.

Just follow these simple rules and not only will you be a happier person in your day-to-day life, but you might even end up with some pleasant surprises along the way! "What kind of surprises?" you ask. Well, certainly a few freebies here and there to start. After that, depending on the person behind the counter/register/espresso machine/pastry case, you could end up with another connection or even a great friend. And, after all, we could ALL use a new friend. So, come on peeps! Let's make love, not war! Woohoo!

1) R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Here is what it means to me!


Alright folks, let's go back to the Golden Rule that I'm sure all of our parents or teachers taught us along the way, "Treat others how you would like to be treated."  Along with that, I would like to mention the very well known common courtesy words "please" and "thank you". Oh, you've heard of them? Wow! That's fabulous. Let's start practicing those more often, shall we? After all, we are doing you a service for which you should be thankful, right?

First thing's first: Those people behind the counter who are dutifully handling your food and drink (this is a VERY important detail on which I will elaborate later) are actually human beings -- you know, with eyes, ears, brain and emotions too! I know, it's incredible! So, here are some typical signs of disrespect that will get you absolutely nowhere beneficial:

• Throwing bills at me, ESPECIALLY when crumpled. Seriously? You can't take that moment of extra time to un-crumple them for me? I mean, one of us is going to have to do it, because they won't lay flat in the till while balled up, which means that either way, you'll have to wait. So stop being a lazy ass and do me the favor of handing me flattened out bills. Ok? Thanks.
• Standing there impatiently with your outstretched hand waiting for your change. I know you need change. I have to collect it first and sometimes the bills stick together or the coins don't cooperate with me. Deal with it and stop being a dick. Stretch out your hand when I present the change. Ok? Thanks.
• Continuing to read your email on your phone, talking on your phone or even chatting with the person next to you without even making eye contact or acknowledging my existence. Ok, so like I said above: We're human beings and we're having an interaction. Please have some class and set down your phone, pause your conversation for one minute so we can communicate clearly with you as to what you want. 
• Which leads me to..... Remember what you ordered! Unfortunately, many people seem to have ordering amnesia and then get mad at the poor barista/server/whoever who was only following what the order said, which, coincidently, is what YOU said to begin with. Please don't change your mind after you order -- we aren't THAT telepathic.  It's really annoying and inconsiderate to us, the planet (waste-wise) and the other customers who now have to wait longer because your dumbass can't remember shit. 
• Barking at me "Receipt! Receipt!" while distracted with something else. Again, I'm not a dog. I'm a person. Full sentences are highly appreciated. Ok? Thanks. 
• Not knowing what you want and being indecisive by the time you reach the front of the line when there's a HUGE line snaking behind you. At any other time, a good retailer will gladly and enthusiastically answer any question about any product. However, during a huge rush when there's a line out the door and the people behind the counter are trying their hardest to serve everyone quickly and efficiently, it's really, really, REALLY annoying and disrespectful to get up to the front and stand there being indecisive and asking us questions such as "What's good?" (Are you fucking serious? Can't you fucking read? Look at the goddamned menu for fuck's sake! That's what it's there for! Gahh!) This seemingly innocent moment for you takes up several minutes and several transactions worth of time and pisses off everyone else behind you. Why do we care so much? Because we can see the glaring-I'm-going-to-kill-you expressions on ALL the faces behind you. What happens when they get pissed off? They get grumpy and take it out on us. Then we get grumpy because everyone else is grumpy, and it's all because you were an indecisive idiot. Decide what you want from afar, and THEN get in line. Ok? Thanks.
• Stealing other people's drinks. Just stop it. If you aren't sure -- even if there's the slightest bit of doubt, just ask. We'd much rather have you ask than steal someone's drink. When you do that, what happens? The other person whose drink you stole gets mad at the barista because "their drink is taking too long". The poor barista gets confused and has to stop their perfectly timed flow to suss out what the deal is. This makes people grumpy, which in turn makes us grumpy. So just stop it. Ok? Thanks.
• Ordering annoying drinks: The most annoying drink you could EVER order solely due to the amount of time it takes to make and the waste it creates: the grande dry cappuccino or the grande soy cappuccino. First: A dry cappuccino means it's espresso shots with foam on top -- no milk mixed into the shots. So in a grande/16oz cup that means the bottom inch is coffee and the rest of the fucking cup is foam. In order to get that foam you have to steam the milk and then pop it in the fridge for 10-20 seconds while the shots are running to firm up the foam. It's hard to get enough foam in one pitcher to fill a whole grande cup, so we usually have to do 2 pitchers. By the time we have enough foam we still have at least a whole grande cup's worth of not-as-foamy milk left in the pitchers, which we usually have to throw away because it's not good for another drink. Annoying and wasteful -- not to mention, completely ridiculous! Why the hell would you want that much foam???? Finally, soy milk is REALLY hard to foam because of the lack of fat in the liquid. This makes making a grande soy cappuccino especially difficult. Cappuccinos are meant to be small, so please just order them that way. The baristas, other customers and cows will thank you immensely, ok? Thanks.

Now, besides just wanting to be a good person and be respectful, there is another very important reason to do so. Ahem..... remember that WE are the ones handling your food and drinks. There are many ways we could "enhance" your food. Ever seen the movie "Waiting"? If not, you should, and know that stuff like that really does happen. Never make enemies with your food service provider. Yes, you help create our paychecks, but honestly, dealing with an asshole-ish customer is SO not worth it. I have never done anything, but have been very tempted. Pushed far enough and I would have no qualms about letting a little bodily fluids drop into your so impatiently anticipated drink. 

2) The customer is NOT always right:

Whoever invented the asinine statement that they are should be shot. Sometimes, they are right, for sure. Sometimes they are not. And here's why: We are all human. It's really as simple as that. I am trained in what I am doing and do it for 8-10 hours a day. I might, just might, have a tad more experience in the running of my store than you do. Whatever frustration you might have with the way things are going, know that it's never personal and we really did not try to fuck up your day. There are always reasons behind our actions. So please, extend us the same courtesy, take a chill pill, and try not to fuck up ours. Ok? Thanks.

3) Be aware of your surroundings: 

This includes signs and menu boards that may be anywhere from the floor to the ceiling but are there precisely to assist you in making your decision and answer your questions before you ask a staff member. We create these helpful tools for two reasons: A) to help and direct you, the valued customer; and B) to help us not go insane by answering the same goddamned question a million times a day. Parents and teachers, I'm sure you can relate.

5) Remember that you are in Seattle: 

What do I mean by that? I mean that when you come into a cafe or coffee shop and ask for coffee, and we ask, "What kind?" please don't look at us like we're the idiots. This is the coffee capitol of the world, folks. One of the first things a tourist should do is get themselves up to date on the coffee lingo if they plan to partake in one of our spectacular traditions. When I ask you what size, please don't say "regular". There is no "regular" size. In our shop, there are 3 different sizes: 8oz/short, 12oz/tall, and 16oz/grande. These are conveniently posted on our coffee menu, written in neon yellow and green and in impeccably clear hand-writing. I know this because I wrote them myself and they are glorious. So, please, follow rule number 4, read the sign and be specific. And for fuck's sake, don't look at me like I'm an idiot. I'm just trying to help you. 

4) Latte Art: 

You may not know this, but those latte designs we do take a LOT of practice. They are certainly not easy and the skill and art that goes into them should be highly appreciated. I've been doing this for years, make excellent espresso drinks and have only recently been able to pull these off. A simple "thank you" or a "that's beautiful" goes a long way.

5) Tipping:

We don't make a whole lot, but are expected to run around like chickens with our heads cut off and cater to every whim and need of hundreds of people while maintaining a ridiculously high level of energy and mood. We're not expecting you to tip every time, but a little here and there is greatly appreciated. We depend on those for many different things.... like rent :-)

6) There's a lot going on behind the scenes:

Please be aware and understanding of this. What you see is not all there is.

7) We're not stupid or uneducated:

Just because we work in customer service or food service does NOT at all mean we are unintelligent. Many of us have our undergrad/BA. Many of us are working towards that. Some of us have a masters or business degree or other vocational degrees or varying certifications. I, for instance, have my BA in foreign languages and can speak Spanish, German and French, a bit of Japanese and am teaching myself ASL. I also have a certification in Vibrational Medicine. Some of us are interested in music production, aerospace engineering, baking, alternative medicine, photography, acting. Some of us have traveled all over the world and have seen more places and experienced more things than you could ever imagine. So please don't turn your nose down on us or judge us because of our place of employment. I happen to love making espresso drinks and love the people I work with. We are like family. Most of us will move on to follow our passions eventually. For some of us, this is exactly what we want to do. So, please don't think I'm an idiot, or I might start screaming at you in German. And that could make you pee your pants.


If you follow the above rules of Customer Etiquette 101 you will find that you are happier, have better drinks and better food because they are made and served with love and appreciation. With friendly, sincere and heartfelt connections and conversations with your fellow humans behind the counter, you'll find that you have a whole crew of new friends. Maybe you'll find a love interest! Maybe you'll find that one connection you need. Maybe, since we love you, we'll show our appreciation now and then with a free coffee or pastry! Maybe you'll just start out each day a little bit happier than you were when you woke up. And wouldn't that be worth it? Wouldn't it be great if we could just spread the love and respect instead of the apathy and rudeness? Think about if you started your morning happier.... it would spread like wildfire into your own coworkers. Then they would spread it to others! Soon, the love and happiness would spread all over! Like I said, this is a lofty claim, but I believe it to be true. Love and respect for your fellow barista/server/HUMAN will result in world peace.

Help me help YOU to spread the LOVE!!